Sunday, September 29, 2013

How To Build Self Esteem And Confidence

By Aniek van Wordragen


Though it is difficult to give a definition of self esteem, the psychological term denotes an individual's evaluation about their own self. Though many give their own definition of self esteem, widely accepted definition is that of Nathaniel Branden. According to him, self esteem is "the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness".It is important to understand, when born, most of us will have high self esteem. This is influenced as we grow, by teachers, parents and other friends or relatives. Many have low self esteem due to one of these influencing personalities. With low esteem, we can never live life to their fullest, or enjoy life. Even doing our daily routine, relationships, or achieving goals can become a problem with reduced self esteem.

You will easily be able to identify a person with high self esteem. Their very existence will exude all the characteristics above, from their physical appearance right down to the manner in which they speak. They tend to be popular, motivated, ambitious and do not accept defeat easily. Their purpose in life has meaning and they vigorously pursue what they want until they achieve it.In contract, people with low self esteem think they are worthless. They believe that nothing they do merits recognition, praise, respect or reward. Such a person will contently devalue themselves in the presence of others because they simply do not believe they are worthy. They tend to shy away from social inclusion and take the view that everybody else's opinions matter more than their own. They feel shameful and embarrassed at the very thought that they could ever be admirable in any way.

Never think about your problems and brood over your past. Move on and have a positive outlook, so you can change your future.Understand your powers and limitations. It is good to be positive, but you should know where you stand in life. Never be over ambitious or think about things that aren't viable and be depressed over it. Use your powers and win over your limitations.Challenge yourself every now and then. Change is one thing that's constant and when you adapt yourself to different situations, you can become a better person. This way, you can also know your hidden potentials.Don't compare yourself with anyone, who above or below you! You are what you are! There's no photocopy of you. Remember, you are unique and special. By comparing, you can undermine yourself. You might not be the best rapper, but you will probably be good at something else. So don't compare yourself with others.

Study and develop a new skill. By this means, building self esteem and confidence is much easier to achieve. Think big and plan big. Big plans can really make someone feel very special since our mind tells us that these big plans could lead to bigger accomplishments and of course, success.Go out of your comfort zone. Building self esteem and confidence is often not achieved because we are afraid to rise above our comfort zone. In summary, do not be shy or scared of the unknown. Building your esteem and confidence is a personal journey which you must undertake. Go for it! I wish you every success.The number one thing that holds most people back from achieving success and happiness that we all deserve is having low self esteem. We can not go forward and achieve the simplest things because we do not believe in ourselves.

Dress better.Boosting your self esteem has to start on the inside, but there's no reason why you can't start to feel good by wearing nice clothes and making yourself look good. Take pride in your appearance and let others see how good you look. You're worth it!Speak your mind.If you have an opinion, voice it. Who cares what other people think? You're quite happy to listen to other people most of time so why not speak up yourself? There is absolutely nothing to stop you from divulging what's on your mind.Build confidence.Practice being assertive. Write down a list of positive affirmations which will increase your confidence. Say them out loud every morning and at night before you sleep. Remove the word can't from your vocabulary. Listen to motivating music and re-programme your mind to accept a higher level of confidence as the new norm.Take action.Build your self esteem by doing as many things as you can. Just go for it. Don't even think about the end result. People with low self esteem usually think long and hard before doing something and usually talk themselves out of it. If you don't try it, you'll never know. The more you do things, the better you will feel.Self esteem is a powerful trait that can make you or break you. It's a trait YOU control. Make a choice. Refuse to accept anything less than greatness for yourself. Become stronger, think of yourself as a proud, affirmative, confident person with unlimited potential to achieve whatever you set your mind to.A lack of self-esteem can damage any relationship. In marriage especially it can cause a lot of problems. A spouse suffering from low self-esteem can contribute to infidelity, child or spousal abuse, divorce or financial trouble. If your spouse has low self-esteem and you don't think it matters, you might find out the hard way that it really does make a lot of difference.

Self esteem is a concern that virtually everybody needs to come to terms with. Some individuals know that they have to deal with self esteem while others handle it without really understanding it. Those who handle self esteem subconsciously have a much harder time because they do not really recognize exactly what it is that requires to be worked on. They are merely responding to issues that they experience on a day to day basis. Nonetheless, if you wish to work on your self esteem in a more constructive way, you must keep the following techniques on the best ways to improve personality in mind.

In order for you to be successful in discovering ways to enhance personality, you should firstly comprehend exactly what precisely it is that you have to tackle. When you have an idea of exactly what you have to change or improve, make certain that you act on it. It is advisable that you improve one thing at a time. The voyage is more crucial than the location. This merely suggests that you should find out to appreciate each and every moment that you are living. Get a kick out of the moment as an alternative of waiting to reach where you prefer before commemorating.

Be appreciative so your partner is aware that you appreciate the things they do. Whether it is cleaning the bathroom or cooking a meal, let them know you appreciate the gesture. Tell them they make a great parent if you have kids. If you are being honest and loving, you will see many things your spouse does which you can praise them for.Make sure to share the credit. If your spouse is suffering from low self-esteem, they might not see how they are contributing to the marriage and family every day. Point out these things to others and to your spouse. Let your spouse know how much you value their abilities and how much it helps.Help your spouse to discover any hidden talents. Ask them about what they can do well or like to do or would even like to learn to do. Encourage them to do more of this or take a class. Perhaps you will both be interested and can learn or practice together.

Strive to be confident when meeting other individuals. You must also guarantee that you try as much as feasible to consider the positive side of each encounter you have with individuals. This will certainly make it easy for you to magnify those you interact with.One more one of the things that you have to understand is that being a really good listener is the key to enhanced relations. People generally like those who hear their point of views and you should therefore tackle coming to be a far better listener each day.

Understand that you are a very desirable woman no matter what has happened in recent days. Whether you still want your husband or you end up with someone else, one day you will have to restore trust and intimacy with a man again. The affair may make this difficult, but here is the catch 22. In order to feel truly intimate with a man, you must trust him. You can't do this if deep down you have doubts about his true feelings and loyalty. The best way to banish these doubts is to, when you are ready, dive in first with one toe and eventually with your whole open heart.Yes, this will make you feel vulnerable at first, but here's the truth. Your self esteem will be restored when you experience deep and lasting intimacy that can not be faked or manufactured. It helped me to educate myself on intimacy and sexuality. I learned several things that I wasn't doing in my marriage that ignited serious and very genuine sparks and fireworks when I did. I no longer worry that my husband will cheat again. He's very happy at home. It may be a while before you are ready for this, but be patient. You will know it when you feel it and when you do, I doubt very much you'll be thinking about your self esteem at that time.




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